Not So Urban Faux Organic Gardener

Greetings Seedlings!

After much anticipation, my subscription finally arrived! Behold, The Urban Organic Gardener Subscription box! (Thanks, Mom!) After impatiently waiting 8 days for it to arrive, the mailman finally graced my threshold with said subscription. Iside you will get five kinds of seeds, peat moss pellets, FOOLPROOF instructions, index stick stakes, and Epsom salt.

So as you can see the info card shows some vital “dirt growing” information. Because lets face it, Plant Killer could probably even kill this.

And the flip side shows what came in your package. The Urban Organic Gardener does tailor your package to your climate, proficiency,  and where/how you plan to garden. However, keep in mind you DO NOT get a choice of seeds. They send you what they want. All non-GMO seeds, but still what they want. I would not have picked broccoli sprouts, for instance, but am excited to give them a try! It will be fun. The number of seeds per pack was more than enough to feed my family of three and then some. All around, for ten dollars a month, a good deal.

So tell me, my dear seedlings, what do you think? Is this something you would try? Would you like to see updates on how my baby plants will fare? Let me know in the comment section below! Good luck gardening!

Stay warm seedlings!

Plant Killer

Permaculture Confusion

Its a sunny but cold 35 degrees outside so I am inside studying permaculture while my son does his schoolwork. Yes, my dear seedlings, I also homeschool. So back to the topic, permaculture. No, this isnt a hairstyle your friends and family need to talk you out of but growing a sustainable and harmonious garden. *Cue chirping birds and sunbeams*

I am lucky if my son wakes up sustainable and harmonious. How am I expected to keep these plants alive AND be harmonious? Honestly, I am pretty sure this is a pipe dream for your Plant Killer. But, I trudge on in my permaculture studies. Do you realize there are about a THOUSAND ways to achieve this? I am not sure about yall, but I need someone to hold my dear plant killing hand and direct me like I am a three-year-old.

But for the sake of learning, here is the one I think I could moderately pull off. It reflects the same ideas as my previous post, companion planting. Now if I understand this right, by planting one type of flower or herb will assist my vegetable plants in growth and production. Sounds a lot like living in harmony with each other. Carrots, for instance, would like to live by onions, tomatoes, and peppers but tells Dill #byefelicia. Chives and garlic help deter Aphids. But watch out because garlic and onion deter growth of beans.

So much information! Danger Will Robinson! Danger! Brain overload!!!! All of this plant this by this and that by that brings me back to high school all over again. So many cliques, so many turf battles. *Eye twitch* It is a good thing I have a little longer to do some more research, otherwise my dear seedlings, Plant Killer will fail for sure.

Good Luck Gardening!

Plant Killer

 

Butterflies, Bees and Seedlings….OH MY!

Now that I have committed to begin gardening, what do I do now? I do not know the first thing about keeping plants alive! But here I am watching countless youtube videos and reading tons of articles on the subject. Some say to bottom water, some ay to sprinkle water on top of the baby plant. Others are using found objects to plant in or reusing toilet paper rolls while others are purchasing everything outright! So many options…..so many paths to take.

Look! My seed catalog came in, lets be old school and order stuff from a magazine. I am going to start with the basic Plant Killer starter pack of easy plants like lettuce, onion, tomato, carrots and bell pepper. Throw in some fancy kinds of sure to be dead when I am done plants like sweet potato and melons. Add some pretty herbs and fancy flowers and PRESTO! Thirty minutes later my order form totals 120.00!!!! Yikes. But Ron Swanson once said “Dont half ass two things, whole ass one thing.” I must have a real big…..

I tried to keep in mind that all the seeds I ordered will work together. The flowers I picked will draw in butterflies, bees and humming birds to help pollinate the garden. The herbs will assist in helping keep unwanted bugs away. The veggies plants will help reduce my big…..well you know where I am going. Each plant serves a purpose. Or at least that is what the internet said and we all know the internet does not lie. Keeping that in mind it is time to choose how to begin the seeds.

I am going to use Jiffy Peat Pods as pictured above. I just put them open side up in a plastic plant drip saver I found in the garage. Pretty sure that not only am I a Plant Killer but also frugal. And a tad lazy. I find the less steps and mess the better. However, I found a ton of tutorials on making your own seed starters and reusable, biodegradable containers. And that is about it for this post. As soon as the seeds come in I will no doubt document that messy fiasco and let you know how it went. Or if I even understand the foolproof instructions that will go with them.

If you need me I will be reading up on seed tutorials.

Good Luck Gardening!

Plant Killer

First Foray into Gardening!

Welcome fellow brown thumbs! If you are like me, you are the CEO of Plant Hospice International. You brag to your friends about your PHD in Plant Death. Your family has all but given up on you when it comes to any form of plant life. Heck, you are lucky you have gotten your child to the point in life they are at!

But fear not, you are not alone. I am inept at all thing plants. So what better way to pass the time while I am not homeschooling, but to start a garden! Yes, a full-fledged vegetable garden. Now, I know we are all shaking in our proverbial planter pots. A garden is kind of a big deal. Seeds, dirt, water, repeat? Effort spent on keeping finicky plants alive. I know what your thinking, “C’mon Garden Killer, can you really do that. Why don’t you start with a nice houseplant?”

Because I once set near my mothers’ house plant and it died. No joke. Houseplants are not my thing. I want FOOD! Second fave love. If I am going to peel myself away from my chores to add gardening chores to my long list of stuff to do, might as well do it up right!

So please join me as I make a ton of mistakes and possible inadvertent plant deaths. You will laugh, cry, and shake your head in disbelief. Wish me luck!

Your Black Thumb Friend,

Plant Killer